Living with two under two… the crazy life I have created for myself!!

Life isn’t exactly going to plan for me right now…to help me feel better; I say to myself that I have hit a small bump in the road and things won’t be this way forever. If I could go back and tell the 22 year old me, that in five years I will be a stay at home mummy to two babies, there is no way I would have ever believed it, no way I would stay at home and no way would I have two children so close together…. how stupid?! Why would I do that?! Anyway younger me, you did it and now you are facing the consequences, I am the mummy of a 21 month old little Madame and a 6 month old little man, and my god it’s hard. It’s not as hard as I imagined it to be when I was pregnant with my second, and every single day I was picturing the worst. I was completely petrified when I found out I was pregnant again after having my little girl Ella, and 9 months on I was still completely terrified.

My daughter was and still is a very demanding human being, as a baby she was such hard work, constantly crying all the time, and now as a toddler she hasn’t changed much. So the thought of having another one was not going to happen for a good 3 to 4 more years.
No one was really bothered about me being pregnant again with my second, all the excitement must have got used up on my first pregnancy. Presents, there were none, no one bothered to organise a baby shower this time. Two weeks after having my son no one bothered to come and meet him apart from my mum and little brother and sister. It was a very lonely time, when I needed people the most, I was completely abandoned. After just having a csection and Ella still not walking and constantly wanting to be carried; it was extremely hard.

But luckily my little man is such a little cutie, so placid and laid back, I am very lucky to have him. Ella is still so demanding, she’s very intelligent and I think she is constantly frustrated and hopefully she will get better as her speech gets better and she can communicate properly…… I hope.
Here are a few observations I have made in the six months of being a mummy to two under two.

1. You will never get out the house, but you must try as hard as you can to get out a few times a week to stop yourself from going completely insane.
2. You will never get to pee when you need to, just get over it…. a strong bladder is necessary

3. You will constantly feel guilty, mostly because I feel Ella gets all the attention because she is so demanding.

4. Always have someone with you when visiting supermarkets or going to town, take your mum or friend along or it’s almost impossible to get anything done.

5. They never sleep at the same time so sneaky little naps never happens, your have to sleep when ur old or dead….

6. Routine routine routine is key for getting anything done. You plan to go out… get ready the night before. Do everything in your power to make your experience in the morning as stress free as possible

7. Sometimes it’s just easier to stay in then face the world and the stress that awaits you. Deal with the greater need first, two babies crying, one wants a biscuit and the other smacked themselves in the face with a toy. Deal with the injury first.

8. Never make appointments for first thing in the morning and never try and get anywhere on time. Meeting friends? Never organise anything before 12, you never know what’s going to happen.

9. You will constantly be needed, whether it’s a biscuit, choc choc, cheese, juice, dummy, bottle, poo, teething gel. You will become a slave to the little people. You will have more good days then bad. But the bad days always fall on the days you are home alone.

To all the women who have two little monsters under two…. I applaud you!


Unsuccessfully balancing being a mummy and having some form of a social life and my personal reasons why.

So in the last three years I have been pregnant for 18 months of it. I have a 21 month old girl, and a 6 month old little boy. I’m crazy right?! It wasn’t planned that way at all. Anyway, being very preoccupied with being pregnant and looking after babies, socialising with my single non parent friends, just hasn’t happened for me. I’ve been a typical ” blow out” since my daughter Ella was born 21 months ago, I’ve gone for the odd coffee down the high street, but anything more then that, would be a complete no no. Nights out drinking, going cinema or for a meal would be something I would immediately blow out. As soon as the idea would be suggested by friends, straight away I’d always have my excuse ready, ‘the babies are poorly’ or ‘the sitter has let me down’ the list goes on.

Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not as if I don’t want to go to these events, I’d love to, but a few factors are always there making me feel as if I can’t and the biggest part of it for me is lack of self confidence 

Since Ella was born. Before Ella was born and even while I was pregnant with her I’ve always been very slim and had quite a nice figure, even the months after having her I still kept my figure. 

It was when she was about five months that I started to pile on the pounds and then I fell pregnant with Preston and it all really did go down hill. I have gone from a size 10 to a size 16 in 21 months and I guess I’m just not happy for anyone to see me this way, these are my issues I need to get over and I must learn not to be so hard on myself, but when are we not hard on ourselves as mums and as women. 

Anyway I completely have gone off the topic of this blog!! For once I decided to say yes! I was getting so fed up of always missing out and always blowing my friends out I decided to say yes for me, otherwise I don’t think I could face the person I might become if I constantly said no. I just had to accept the fact I didn’t look the way I wanted, and accept that my friends would notice the weight gain, but they are lovely and I know they would never point it out to me anyway. It sometimes doesn’t help when you feel so low about yourself and being a stay at home Mum and your friends are all single with amazing careers and living in london, I don’t think I could be anymore different to them. I used to be like them but now I’m a mummy. 
So my first night out with my friends was a trip to london to have dinner and watch the show ‘kinky boots’ which was absolutely amazing and I loved every minute of it. I think now I have got over the fear of going out, I am more likely to do it more now, well I hope I will anyway. I just made an effort with my make up, made use of the many make up tutorials i had recently watched on YouTube, and I felt wonderful for the first time in a very long time I felt a little confidence.
It’s so important to still keep in touch with friends and go out once in a while, in order to not lose touch of who you are, as a stay at home Mum it really is so easy to lose your identity without even realising it, until the damage is already done! 
Has anyone experience anything similar and just isolated yourself away from friends due to confidence issues but used the kids as your “get out” excuse? 


Expectation v’s reality of being a mummy!

When I was pregnant with my first child Ella; I had so many thoughts swimming around my head, about the kind of mum I wanted to be, and the types

of activities we would do, to fill our days and make the most of my maternity leave. Of course at the time, I had no idea that i was harvesting the most frustrated, impatient, short fused baby on this earth. 
Soon after my first was born, it was only five months later that I fell pregnant again with my son Preston. 

 I think that time around my expectations were a lot more realistic, in what I was going to be able to achieve, having two babies under two.
Here is a small list of my expectations for my first baby, and the reality of what actually happened, and how I failed miserably.
1. Expectation:
 Having a summer baby meant  I would fill my days going on long walks down the high steer, enjoying a good book, whilst drinking a coffee while Ella slept peacefully in her pram. All the baby weight I was going to lose and all the books I was going to catch up on were endless. 

 I would spend the morning trying to get ready to leave the house. Of course babies seem to sense when it’s a critical time and when mummy wants to leave the house, so constantly crying is just the norm for this occasion. I would finally get out of the house;  get five minutes down the road and decide to turn around, where Ella would cry so much she had turned blue in the face, and I couldn’t take her out of the pram as it was scorching hot, and she wouldn’t be protected by shade. So in the end anxiety would play a big role and I would never take her for walks.

2. Expectation:
I would go to as many mummy groups available to me, make plenty of mummy friends and would spend lots of time with them, and Ella would make loads of baby friends.

Reality: I would go to a class and Ella would cry the entire time. While all the other babies would be calm playing nicely or sleeping. And I would get numerous mums come up to me and ask the normal questions, “is she hungry” “is she tired” “is she always like this?!” Yes she’s always like this I’ve laboured the spawn of lucifer!
3. Expectatio: I would spend my days cooking up loads of weaning receipts that she could enjoy everyday and freeze up batches so she can have lots of lovely meals ready for her. Together we would be very creative and try all the things I added to my boards on pininterest.

Reality: All she would eat was cheese and a colouring book and stocker book is as far as we would get with being creative. To this day I have a 20 month old and 6 month old. I’m lucky to even leave the house.
What was everyone else’s expectations during their first pregnancy?